June 21, 2024
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To The Haters And The Hated: Dealing With Envy

Psychology says that everyone’s DNA has a little bit of jealousy. It’s just an emotion, till you let it control you.

We all have an element of jealousy, some conceal it, some show it, while some have acquired the grace and mentality to have won that battle of the heart. I believe the source is insecurity.

Hated and hating is a two way battle we fight in different ways. When people hate you, its because you have something in the hate that they want. We all want something, but must we all hate? Personally, my secret recipe to eliminate any trace of jealousy in me is to go out of my way, to get on my knees to pray for my competitors and consciously celebrate them first in my spirit before I try to say congratulations to them. People wonder how I built so much social currency; well, I go out of my way to show interest and volunteer for others who are doing better and support for those below. It’s what HBC is really about. It’s the most closed knit community I know. The secret to that success is to add value to that of others. We have to celebrate ourselves. Your success has nothing to do with my failure. Healthy competition is key; it brings about innovation which usually propels everyone forward.




Envy is real. I know people who can’t drive their new car to the village. There are people who can’t tell anyone when they are travelling for the fear of the forces that are. This forces can be real, depending on who you are. Africa needs help.


Africa’s problem is so deeply rooted in hate. Watching the bloodbath in South Africa, and the killings by Fulani Herdsmen reminds me of who we all really can be if we don’t re-engineer our minds. Things like Xenophobia are just a mirror effect. South Africa is too far, how about us with our tribalism, racism and sexisms. Discrimination is everywhere. Nigeria is not the problem, we all are.  Even within your family and kindred, some members of your village are willing to kill you for progressing if you give them a chance. History shows, that the greatest wars are fought by people who are relatives or who were once neighbours or friends.  Watch your inner circle. Envy is misplaced love. This because, whoever is close enough to kiss you, is close enough than anyone else to stab you.



In this game called jealousy and envy, what we all fail to realise before we hate on each other’s success, is that what we call success is relative. This is same for failure. We are all battling something. If we all threw our problems in a bucket and saw everyone else’s,  trust me, we’d grab ours back immediately before it is exchanged. People are going through challenges, don’t hate.  We are all successful in different lights. Some may be excelling more in their family life while others in just their business or bank accounts. The person you envy his or her looks or car might be struggling connecting with God or finding love with the one she loves or around his own circle unlike you. Stop looking at another man’s success as a hindrance to yours. It’s defective thinking and it hinders progress.


We are all in a race. And like an athletic race, we all can’t be Usain Bolt. And if I kidnapped Usain Bolt during the Olympics, it doesn’t guarantee that the next person or even me will run 9.8m/s by the finish line.  Life is like swimming, you don’t drown when you are thrown in, you drown when you don’t swim.  You drowning in a pool isn’t because another man can swim, it’s simply because you can’t swim. Why don’t you learn how to, or joyfully and humbly draw near to those who can. Our world will be a better place if we stopped snooping and hating, face your work. And for you the hated, don’t be apologetic of being awesome, don’t let someone dim your light because it is shinning in their eyes, just change focus.

Business Genius is seeing things everyone has seen but thinking what nobody has thought.

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