This is typically what happens when we give the wrong people the right power to hurt us all in the name of love because we want them and their company, especially when we choose to occupy our space, time and minds with such.
Life is a beautiful battle. The truth is, being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage. But the wrong one will kill both.
I used to say, that in the next ten years, the two things that can only change a man’s destiny is the people he meets and the books he reads. And then a client added the third one, saying, “your girlfriend, or the spouse you have or end up with”. As entrepreneurs and professionals with the right one, we find balance, we act and think better. I mean when we are in love with the right person that is. But with the wrong person, it becomes reduced to an expensive hobby that drains your energy and it can affect the quality of your outputs.
As a business consultant with clients who are couple, I sometimes sit in for dinners and then subliminally have my thoughts and my heart play John Gottman (by the way, the psychologist, John Gottman can listen to a couple for 5 minutes and determine, with 91% accuracy, whether they can be successful together and whether they’ll be divorced in the next 5 years). He looks out for interests in vision, and how they carry out and manage criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling during conversations. This isn’t something entrepreneurs manage well and something they have to be open to or even have to give up.
Love in its naked form is giving up you or giving someone the power to hurt you in return for just a feeling, a wish and a hope that he/she won’t. That’s why it is important to be careful, if you haven’t met one or if divorces isn’t an option as a value.
An ‘olgee always said, “Love with you head”. I still wonder what that means. I guess it means, do not put your mind in your heart’s position. Once that happens, cupid strikes, piercing through and then it takes back the arrow only for your heart to bleed over memories, lost fantasies plus the shattered dreams that could have been as you once again walk into reality through the boulevards of loneliness with nothing but a broken heart and a lot of things you could have been.
Be sure of who you are and what you want before you find love. if not, you’d find the wrong person. This happens when we are not sure what we want and where we want to be, so anywhere we get to with that person we meet may look like it.
This happens when we do not set our priorities right and make the best plans for ourselves, so we fall into that of others. And guess what plans they’ve made for our benefits, nothing. So each time you meet, get close and begin to love someone for aesthetics and feelings so passionately without a reasonable reason, expect whatever you get.
These are the keys to breaking your heart.
Now, to find the right keys to love, begin to know who you really are, change for the things you desire to be. Be reasonable, confident and happy with yourself. Close every void that can hold shallow reasons. Do not settle for less. You want a queen, then become a king!
Do not go around searching for love, to find the right person is to be prepared for that person and he/she will come at the right time.
Culled from The Lost Manuals (Unreleased).
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