Mistakes Our Parents and Society Made On Us. They Forgot Grit

I remember a mentee who used to come to work at our office then at Yaba with a driver and a police escort. He never blended in with other interns. I believe it was never his fault, maybe it was his parents. They will always call to explain why he came late and he couldn’t do it himself or show up early. With his British accent he would explain that he wasn’t used to waking up that early. He never got used to it. Is there a problem with that?

In an era where parents out-rightly do their kids assignments and just let them copy it in their handwriting, where teachers help their students cheat to pass external exams, where most private schools don’t fail kids for bad performance anymore, we are in for a society who don’t expect or appreciate failure at times and in turn will not learn how to handle it when it surely comes. It always happens, and it’s important to realize that a setback is a set up for a better comeback. Focus and grit is the lesson.

In life, making mistakes is better than faking perfection. It’s a skill to be able to learn from your mistakes never to repeat it again. Most adults don’t. Your kids should, so don’t over protect them. No matter how clumsy and staggering a baby’s walk is, it is still better than a perfect crawl. I work with a lot of mentees, some being hand downs from older folks I know, mostly kids of our clients and alumni and sometimes at Hexavia, we are trying to fix what was broken from home, thanks to their upbringing. And sometimes it’s even too late and we just have to tolerate kids who don’t understand life and grit. I believe grit is the ability to stay long enough in something, sometimes trying over again till you attain your desired goal.

It’s something I can’t find a lot in young people, they want everything microwaved quickly. But your kids can grow differently.

I am currently doing a research on this and maybe these tricks might help.

Here’s how to raise kids with and for it.

Allow them find what they

1. Passionately love. But let them realize the brutal fact, that there are things that must be done whether they are passionate about it or not. It’s called sacrifice.

2. Create a DIY (Do It Yourself) lifestyle.

3. Ensure at any point in their growth process, that they are working on something difficult

4. Let them understand a fact that practice begets skill. Help them develop a “Growth Mindset”, and that hardwork and even failing and trying again is a part of that process. It starts from letting them see the rehearsal pains of Beyonce’s Dance to the practice shots of Messi, or off track runs of Usain Bolt. When they talk or see champions, show them the other side of the pain they took to get there.

5. Show them that failure is not the end.

6. Always check up on their courage and strength of character.

I hope this helps. In life, remember, making mistakes is better than faking perfection and grit is the ability to stay long enough in something till you attain your desired goal. Master the habit of staying at something till you win.